If you haven't already become a Yuwie member, READ THIS.
I am Tina Serena, legendary international TRANSSEXUAL superstar. Of course, you already knew that because I'm famous. My name is a household word. If you've never heard of me, it probably means you're brain dead.
People sometimes mistake me for Paris Hilton, but there's really no comparison. The only thing we have in common is that we both need nose jobs. Anyway, I'm much better looking than she is, and I don't use small furry animals as fashion accessories.
I created this page as a way of saying THANK YOU to my legions of adoring fans. I love you all!
If you're one of those unfortunate souls who hasn't heard of me before, don't despair -- there is hope! All you need to do is find someone even more clueless than yourself and tell them about this page. The more people you tell, the more you'll look like a true fan, and nobody will ever realize just how clueless you used to be.
What the critics are saying:
"An overnight success, Tina Serena appeared seemingly out of nowhere, taking the world by storm. No one is exactly sure what she's famous for, but we love her anyway. We're closely following her every move, anxiously waiting to see what she'll do next." - The New Yolk Times
"Everyone is talking about Tina Serena! All the top designers are frantically scrambling to complete new lines of clothing based on Tina's unique sense of style. Industry insiders are saying this is the beginning of a new renaissance in the fashion world, with Tina Serena at the leading edge." - VAGUE magazine
"Tina Serena is the perfect woman. I'm offering her my entire estate to do a photo shoot for Playbunny. We'll even devote a complete issue just to her. If she agrees, I'll permanently retire from the business and stop publishing Playbunny forever. No one else could ever compare to the perfection of Tina, so there wouldn't be much point in continuing after that." - Huge Heifer, Playbunny magazine
"Oh my God, like, I am sooooooooo jealous! Tina Serena has a penis and I don't! It's totally not fair! Maybe I could, like, get one surgically implanted. I wonder where I can find a donor?" - Harris Pilton, spoiled rich kid
"Tina Serena is a shining example of what every human being should aspire to be. She's a model citizen and an inspiration to us all. I'm declaring Tina's birthday to be a national holiday, and I've ordered the Federal Reserve and US Treasury to issue a special Three Dollar Bill with Tina's picture on the front, printed on pink paper." - President of the United States
"Who doesn't love Tina Serena? She's the talk of the town! The entertainment community is abuzz with speculation on what her next project will be. We know she's already received a number of offers for movie roles, recording contracts, and modeling jobs. It seems there's nothing she can't do!" - Peeple magazine
WELL IT’S 0530HRS in Germany ON A MONDAY. LET’S START THE WEEK OFF RIGHT BY THINKING POSITIVE. AND IF YOU CAN HELP ANOTHER HUMAN BEING WITH ISSUES.
Everyone wants to believe that his or her situation is different, and maybe yours is. Just remember a friend is there to listen. Have a great week. Wendell
Estrogen
Femininity
Being a woman
California
Sunshine
Nature
Spicy food
(Indian, Thai, Mexican)
Music:
Gothic, Industrial, Darkwave, Synthpop, Electronic, Experimental, Ambient, Psychedelic, New Age:
Ah Nee Mah
Anugama
Arkenstone, David
Bauhaus
Butthole Surfers
Can CLAN OF XYMOX COIL CORPUS DELICTI
Covenant
The Cure
Current 93
Dead Voices On Air
Delerium
Depeche Mode
The Doors
Doubting Thomas
Download
Einsturzende Neubauten
Empirical Sleeping Consort
Faust FRONT LINE ASSEMBLY
Frozen Autumn
Hafler Trio
Haujobb
Hawkwind
Robert Johnson and Punchdrunks
Edward Ka-Spel
Killing Joke
King Crimson
Kitaro
Led Zeppelin LEGENDARY PINK DOTS
Love Is Colder Than Death
Lycia
Mimir
Peter Murphy
New Order NUMB
Nurse With Wound
OhGr ONEIROID PSYCHOSIS
Ozric Tentacles
Pink Floyd
Project Pitchfork
Silverman
Sisters of Mercy
Skinny Puppy
Stapleton & Tibet
Suicide Sanctum
Tangerine Dream TEAR GARDEN
Nik Turner
Yes
Movies:
12 Monkeys
Addams Family
Addams Family Values
Adventures of Priscilla
Aeon Flux (the animated series)
Altered States
Amelie
American Beauty
American Psycho 1 & 2
An American Werewolf in Paris
Army of Darkness
Austin Powers
Batman Begins
Batman Returns
Beetlejuice
Being John Malkovich
The Big Lebowski
The Birdcage
Blue Velvet
Bound
Brazil
Brothers Quay
Bulletproof Monk
The Butterfly Effect
Cast a Deadly Spell
The Cell
Cemetery Man
Charlie's Angels 1 & 2
City of Lost Children
Clockwork Orange The Dark Backward
Dark City
Delicatessen
Desire and Hell at Sunset Motel
Donnie Darko
The Doors
Dracula (Bram Stoker's)
Drugstore Cowboy
Ed and his Dead Mother
Ed Wood eXistenZ
Exotica
Fade to Black
Fear, Anxiety & Depression
Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas
The Fifth Element Fight Club
Final Fantasy - The Spirits Within
Frankenhooker
Freaked
From Hell
Gattaca
Gaudi Afternoon
Gotham
Haunted (1995)
Hedwig & the Angry Inch
The Hunger
Immortal (ad vitam)
Industrial Symphony 1 (David Lynch)
Institute Benjamenta Interstate 60
Interview with the Vampire The Jacket Jacob's Ladder
James Bond (all movies)
Jawbreaker Kafka
Lair of the White Worm
Lemony Snickets
Linguini Incident Lost Highway The Machinist
Man Bites Dog
The Matrix
Memento Mulholland Drive Naked Lunch
Nowhere Pi
Pink Floyd The Wall
Pulp Fiction
Queen of the Damned
Rubin & Ed
Run Lola Run The Secret
Shanhai Noon Siesta
Solaris
Strange Days
Suture Tetsuo: The Iron Man
The Thirteenth Floor
To Wong Foo
True Romance
The Truman Show Twin Peaks - Fire Walk With Me Twin Peaks (the TV series)
Underworld
Vegas in Space
Velvet Goldmine
TV:
TV makes you stupid. I never watch anything on broadcast or cable television, but there are a few series' that I enjoy on DVD. They are:
Farscape
Twin Peaks
Tripping the Rift
Lexx
Books:
[Tao te Ching[
Thomas Ligotti
William Gibson
Neal Stephenson
Wayne Dyer
Deepak Chopra
Jane Roberts (Seth)
Esther Hicks (Abraham)
Sanaya Roman (Orin)
Story Waters
Don Miguel Ruiz
Stuart Wilde
Heroes/Idols:
Myself, of course!
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
Tyler Durden
Lao Tzu
Buddha
Transsexuals who go full-time
Anyone who attains enlightenment
