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| WE NEED PEOPLE TO SPEAK UP!!! | | As you may of heard in the news our nation of Australia is in the crips of a personal crisis due to the Victorian fires damaging many peoples lives. I am appealing to those who have home or car insurance with the NRMA. My partner and I underwent similar circumstances back in June 2007 with the storms and our house was severely damaged. We have been fighting our claim with the NRMA for nearly two years now to have our house repaired and it still stands in ruins. We have now given up the fight and our house is now lost to the bank. We have created a website to identify the pitfalls of using home and car insurance with the NRMA here in in Australia and want to make people aware of the traps and scams they use to prevent the same thing happening to others. If you have had a bad experience with NRMA we would like to hear your story. Please visit our website and complete a small survey. Your support and feedback would be much appreciated thank you. Please visit http://www.mynrma.info/ | | Posted: 2/14/2009 at 17:11 | Read 44 times | 0 comments | Leave Comment |
 | THE MAN RULES | The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear!
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -
but, only if you think they can handle it...
| | Posted: 3/19/2008 at 23:08 | Read 80 times | 0 comments | Leave Comment |
| WOMEN'S ENGLISH vs. MEN'S ENGLISH | Women's English vs. Men's English
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I' d like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay | | Posted: 2/8/2008 at 18:54 | Read 103 times | 2 comments | Leave Comment |
| GREAT AUSSIE JOKES!!! | Message:
A Koala and A Kangaroo are doing a poo in the bush, the Kangaroo asks the Koala "Do you have problems with poo sticking to your bum?" "No" says the Koala. So the Kangaroo wipes his backside with the Koala.
**********************************************************************************..
A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, ''Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" The lady was furious and continued on her way.
On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot once more said "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" She was incredibly ticked now, so she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.
The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. "Hey, lady!" it said.
"Yes?"
"You know."
****************************************************************************
there is 70 ways to keep a woman happy.
one is to take her shopping and the rest is 69
enjoy... hahahaha :) from an Aussie and proud of it!!! hahaha | | Posted: 2/6/2008 at 00:35 | Read 81 times | 2 comments | Leave Comment |
| WHEN GIRLS DONT PUT OUT! | When girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.
Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b***h knows I'm smarter than her.
Alright Ladies. Forward this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, forward it anyway.
Men, forward this if you have BALLS !!!!
| | Posted: 1/3/2008 at 07:00 | Read 58 times | 1 comment | Leave Comment |
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| SHELLY | "LIFE IS SHORT, BREAK THE RULES, FORGIVE QUICKLY, KISS SLOWLY,LOVE TRUELY, LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY AND NEVER REGRET ANYTHING THAT MADE YOU SMILE!!"
46 years old
Female
Last Login: 5/4/2009
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